... The Cleanse ...

Oh boy. So many, many months ago Brett & I were in GNC and decided to buy a body cleanse. The guy at GNC explained to us that this one was wonderful, we should follow a pretty strict diet, don't drink, etc and we'd would feel SO MUCH better and probably lose 5-10 pounds. Sweet deal right?

Well, the boxes were neatly tucked beneath our bathroom sink for many months. Then they were moved to the bathroom organizer thingy, where they collected mountains of dust. I looked at them every day, but just wasn't ready. We almost did it before Brett's sister's wedding, but then decided we would be having a "lot of fun" in Milwaukee (aka drinking our faces off) so we might as well wait.

Not wanting them to expire, we finally started the cleanse about two weeks ago. I told Brett I would do the best I could to make him compliant since he's a very picky eater. I decided not to strictly follow the diet because I eat pretty healthy anyway. The first day, breakfast called for the following:

Rice cakes

2 tbsp yogurt

1 c. raspberries

8 0z. water

Probiotic Formula

Sounds simple enough, but I knew Brett would not eat raspberries if I just handed them to him (the man hates fruit, what the hell? Even raspberries? The best fruit on the planet? YUP.) So I piled some yogurt on a rice cake, smashed up the raspberries (even added a packet of splenda) and topped off the rice cake. OMG. You should have seen his face. He was doing that weird swallowing thing, like before you vomit, before even tasting it. He said "It's just seeds! I don't eat this sh*t! I thought you were going to make this food that I liked."

ME: C'mon, quit bein' a baby. Just try it. Jesus, it's delish!

Brett: Ugh. (Eats one bite, gets up from chair, runs to bathroom, and "throws up")

Whatever. Baby. So there goes Brett's diet, however he will still participate as long as he can eat what he wants. I'm not really sure how that works, but whatev.

The first night was absolute hell. Not because I was shitting my pants, but because I had the.worst.headache.ever. Yeah, this body went through caffeine withdrawal, bad. So bad that I took Excedrin (which I HATE taking meds) and texted Brett, who promptly left what he was doing to comfort me (what a sweetheart!).

The whole week, we had planned to be feeling great, eating well, hiking, spending time together in the sun and just loving life. Not the case. We were SO exhausted. Sleeping every chance we got. Honestly, I would have quit after two days, but I was so proud of Brett for not smoking, that I stuck it out.

I don't know that I lost any weight. I certainly didn't feel amazing like I thought I would. I definitely enjoyed my first margarita, followed by a Skinny Vanilla Latte the next morning. Moral of the story: Don't do cleanse(s). Waste of time. No real benefit. Just try to be healthy every day. :)