i'm already so drained in 2009. i still have this friggin' head cold! go away cold! GO AWAY! i'm trying to be patient with you, i'm sleeping way more than any human ever should just to ignore you! what do you want from me?! i have snot pouring out of my nose like a faucet. ew. and now i'm coughing like i just quit smoking after fifty-eight years. GET OUTTA MY LIFE ALREADY!

in other news... brett & i went on a date last night. to the movies. slumdog millionaire is probably the best movie i've seen in a looooong time. go see it. the writing is just amazing. two thumbs way up!

so brett & i had agreed to not discuss this move that may or may not be in sight in a certain amount of months. but clearly it's on his mind because that seems to be all he wants to talk about. he wants to point out all the shitty things the midwest has to offer. which makes me ignore him. i know before xmas i was adamant, "i am moving to KC this summer, take it or leave it." but, as the supportive girlfriend i am, i am trying to make the best of '09. the best of LA. the best for brett's career. he's really been keeping busy with auditions and shows since we've been back. i truly believe this year is his year. i will stand up tall beside him and support him 100%. but i don't want to talk about the move/moving etc. i want to live in the now. i don't want to be caged into a 9 month deal, then 8 months, then 7 and live in fear of the unthinkable. what is the point of bringing that kind of stress upon yourself?

is 2009 making you all feel refreshed at all? i watched oprah all week last week and now i can have the best life. best diet. best finances. best sex. i really do want to attempt to have the best year ever. with this recession i'm trying to figure out a way to not have any debt at all, although most of my debt is 'good debt' as in student loans. but how the hell can anyone save up a 20% down payment on a house that's $300,000. or even less. 20% is a lot. a lot. a lot. do i really sacrifice everything fun in my life? every social outlet? where else can i trim the fat?! 

oh yeah and i almost forgot... when we were back home for christmas i had to send packages back via UPS because our gifts wouldn't fit on the plane, comfortably. so i packaged it all in one box, put bubble wrap around the one and only breakable, filled all the extra room with Styrofoam peanuts and scribbled, neatly, FRAGILE about 400 times all over the box. and that one and only breakable, broke. don't you think if only women worked at UPS these things wouldn't happen? grrr.... now i have to buy myself a new 'gift'. wth?