today would have been my dad's 60th birthday if he were still here. wow. imagine the shindig! i don't have a lot of memories of my dad since he passed away when i was only six. i have a lot of pictures and i know i was a daddy's girl, but actual memories are scarce. i often wonder how life would have been different if he were still here.
i wonder if if i have any of his mannerisms. i know i look just like my mom. and since i've spent a majority of my life with just her, i'm sure i have more of her mannerisms than his. but i wonder if i think the same way as he did. do i act like he did? i know i have some of the same interests that he did.
i've wondered if he would have been here, would i be where i am today? would i have gone to college out of state? moved 2,000 miles from home? be a nurse? be so independent? be with brett? be allowed to date at all! he used to tell me i couldn't date until i was 30!
i think about what my future will be like without him. when i get married, i'll walk alone but hold him in my heart. when i have kids, will they understand that everyone has two grandpas but only one is here on earth? i worry about my mom when she gets older, alone.
i wonder if my brothers would have treated me more like a sister than a daughter for the last 18 years. all three of them have been very protective and did a great job playing the role they were handed. each of them are very different and have therefore taught me different things. i am so thankful for them. i should tell them more often.
so in the spirit of halloween and what should have been my dad's 60th, my friend & i carved pumpkins today!
because that is a memory that i do have with him. and i found out today, carving pumpkins is a lot of work man! but we did it, and then rewarded ourselves with a beverage. which then made it a lot easier for me to carve my second pumpkin, the one that my anti-traditional boyfriend didn't want to carve!
because that is a memory that i do have with him. and i found out today, carving pumpkins is a lot of work man! but we did it, and then rewarded ourselves with a beverage. which then made it a lot easier for me to carve my second pumpkin, the one that my anti-traditional boyfriend didn't want to carve! cheers to our parents! remember to tell them thank you. remind them that you love them. we don't know how long they will be here with us.
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